I went to Potbelly's with Vena and her sister for dinner. Our last meetings conversation over the value of money in Taiwanese culture stayed in my mind. I wanted to know more about their culture and how it had influenced their outlook on life. I began the conversation by asking them if they had put any thought into a career that could make them happy and make them money. They said that it was a dream for them now, but they didn't think it was a reality.
They began to expand more upon the topic and about how the need to make money effected family life, so this became the center of our conversation. They explained that both men and woman had to work; there wasn't even any other option. I asked them how they could possibly raise kids and they responded that they would make it work. I expressed my want to have a big family and they asked me how many kids I wanted. I responded that I wanted four. They sat there in shock with absolutely no response. It was almost like they had never heard of someone having 4 kids before.
In order to get over the silence, I asked them how many children people have in Taiwan. They said that most people only have one and if they are rich they have two. To me it seemed like their evaluation on whether or not to have a kid was completely economic and not at all about the happiness that a child could bring.
I continued that conversation by asking them if either of them had boyfriends. Vena, in her normal sassy manner, responded that she was single; however, her sister told me that she had a boyfriend back at home. She talked about him in a very distant manner. I asked if she missed him or if it was hard for her to be away from him. She said no and asked me why I was always feeling "homesick" for those that I loved. It seemed to me that she and her boyfriend had only been dating for a bit, because they did not seem to have a deep and meaningful connection. In addition, when I asked Vena what she thought about him, she said that she didn't really know him very well.
I asked how long they had been dating and she said that they had been dating for ten years. Ten years. Her lack of sadness because of their separation was interesting to me. I wondered how Vena barely knew her sister's boyfriend if they had been dating for that long. The depths of how their culture had shaped them was evident to me. She was in this relationship because he could give her two things for her future, money and a child. One of these two things was not love. I'm not trying to be ethnocentric, but this value of their society brought me a lot of sadness. Maybe just because I know that both of them deserve so much more than what they expect.
(P.S. I learned an interesting fact in this meeting both Vena and her sister are in their 30s.... I thought they were 22. Looks like it's time for me to invest in some night creme)
Saturday, April 18, 2015
Conversation Partner #4
I met up with Vena and her sister for dinner at Pizza Snob for our fourth meeting. They were a little overwhelmed at first with making their own pizzas, but did an excellent job communicating. In past meetings I had talked with them a little bit about the culture in Taiwan, but wanted to hear more about it. I was intrigued to see how their experiences here had differed.
The most interesting part of our conversation centered around money and passion. Both sisters informed me that they had received their bachelors degree back in Taiwan. Vena had majored in computer science and her sister had majored in accounting. I asked them what had prompted these decisions and their answers were quite interesting to me. Vena shrugged her shoulders and her sister bluntly responded, "to make money". I sat in silence for a while, questioning these responses. I asked a simple question in response "do you like it?". Both answered with a fervent NO.
I know in American culture there are many people that work in areas they may not be passionate about. I am not arguing that. BUT, I do think there is a large difference between something that maybe is not your favorite and something that you disdain. Many people that I know that have opted for a "deffered life plan" by putting their passions off until they have made enough money at least majored in something in college that they enjoyed. Maybe later on in life, or after graduation, they chose a job because it would make them more money. Very rarely have a talked to someone who majored in college in something that they absolutely hate. I believe that Americans maybe value money to an extremely high degree, but I also do believe that we don't value it to the extent that we would put ourselves in the state of absolute and total unhappiness to attain it. There are people who do this, but I believe that most of American citizens are not this way (but then again maybe I am naive and idealistic).
When I voiced my concerns to them, they asked me what I wanted to do when I get older. I said that I just simply want to do something that makes me happy. This idea was so foreign to them that they laughed in my face. Most Americans might not hold my same idealistic nature, but deep down inside might have that same yearning. For Vena and her sister, there wasn't even a yearning because this idea was so foreign to them. I asked them bluntly would you rather have money or be happy. They instantly blurted out that they would rather have money.
Seeing how much their culture revolved around this idea of money above happiness was very saddening to me. Imagining Vena working for the rest of her life in a job she absolutely hated brought me a lot of sadness. I dream that one day both of them could find professions that could both bring them money and happiness.
The most interesting part of our conversation centered around money and passion. Both sisters informed me that they had received their bachelors degree back in Taiwan. Vena had majored in computer science and her sister had majored in accounting. I asked them what had prompted these decisions and their answers were quite interesting to me. Vena shrugged her shoulders and her sister bluntly responded, "to make money". I sat in silence for a while, questioning these responses. I asked a simple question in response "do you like it?". Both answered with a fervent NO.
I know in American culture there are many people that work in areas they may not be passionate about. I am not arguing that. BUT, I do think there is a large difference between something that maybe is not your favorite and something that you disdain. Many people that I know that have opted for a "deffered life plan" by putting their passions off until they have made enough money at least majored in something in college that they enjoyed. Maybe later on in life, or after graduation, they chose a job because it would make them more money. Very rarely have a talked to someone who majored in college in something that they absolutely hate. I believe that Americans maybe value money to an extremely high degree, but I also do believe that we don't value it to the extent that we would put ourselves in the state of absolute and total unhappiness to attain it. There are people who do this, but I believe that most of American citizens are not this way (but then again maybe I am naive and idealistic).
When I voiced my concerns to them, they asked me what I wanted to do when I get older. I said that I just simply want to do something that makes me happy. This idea was so foreign to them that they laughed in my face. Most Americans might not hold my same idealistic nature, but deep down inside might have that same yearning. For Vena and her sister, there wasn't even a yearning because this idea was so foreign to them. I asked them bluntly would you rather have money or be happy. They instantly blurted out that they would rather have money.
Seeing how much their culture revolved around this idea of money above happiness was very saddening to me. Imagining Vena working for the rest of her life in a job she absolutely hated brought me a lot of sadness. I dream that one day both of them could find professions that could both bring them money and happiness.
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
Incident of Unrestrained Laughter #2
As I discussed in my Conversation Partner (3) blog, I took it upon myself to teach my foreign exchange partner slang words in English. One of the obvious choices to teach her was the infamous "YOLO", coined by the rapper Drake. Just incase you are culturally inept, YOLO means "you only life once." It has been equated to the carpe diem of our day and age, urging people to go out and seize the day and do something crazy because.... you only live once.
I was that annoying girl in high school that would say YOLO to anything anyone said, just because I wanted to grind people's gears. To say I love this saying is an understatement. I think it is so tacky and overused that it has become funny to me. Seeing that I already has a base appreciation for the word, the events that unfolded created a perfect situation for unrestrained laughter.
I explained to Vena that the next word I was going to teach her was YOLO. I tried to explain that it was an acronym; however, that concept was a little over her head. I broke it down by drawing her a diagram and showing her how the letters related. She got the acronym concept, but didn't seem to grasp the meaning of the saying. I asked her if she knew what it meant. She confidently looked me in the eyes with her sweet and innocent eyes and said "yolo is when you really hungry, but you don't know what you want to eat."
Reflecting back on it, it really isn't that funny, but I cracked up. I just could not stop laughing. Overtime, my incessant laughter caught on and we were both busting up in laughter as she realized what she said was pretty far off. For me, the pure incongruity between what she thought it meant and the real meaning was so funny. I just couldn't fathom how she possibly could have even made something like that up. To say that I wasn't expecting that response would be an extreme understatement. The incongruity of the situation for me resulted in unrestrained laughter, not at her expense but instead at the cultural differences that existed between us.
The affects of this experience were two fold. First, I was really able to see how laughter is uncontrollable. It is simply just a bodily reaction that is triggered inside of us. Seeing Vena bust out in laughter, even though she really had no grasp on what was happening showed me that sometimes we can simply just laugh because others our laughing. Second, just as with the last experience, the situation created a large bonding effect between us. Now YOLO is kind of like our inside joke. This fit of unrestrained laughter was able to give us a bond that could only be created by the universal language of laughter.
I was that annoying girl in high school that would say YOLO to anything anyone said, just because I wanted to grind people's gears. To say I love this saying is an understatement. I think it is so tacky and overused that it has become funny to me. Seeing that I already has a base appreciation for the word, the events that unfolded created a perfect situation for unrestrained laughter.
I explained to Vena that the next word I was going to teach her was YOLO. I tried to explain that it was an acronym; however, that concept was a little over her head. I broke it down by drawing her a diagram and showing her how the letters related. She got the acronym concept, but didn't seem to grasp the meaning of the saying. I asked her if she knew what it meant. She confidently looked me in the eyes with her sweet and innocent eyes and said "yolo is when you really hungry, but you don't know what you want to eat."
Reflecting back on it, it really isn't that funny, but I cracked up. I just could not stop laughing. Overtime, my incessant laughter caught on and we were both busting up in laughter as she realized what she said was pretty far off. For me, the pure incongruity between what she thought it meant and the real meaning was so funny. I just couldn't fathom how she possibly could have even made something like that up. To say that I wasn't expecting that response would be an extreme understatement. The incongruity of the situation for me resulted in unrestrained laughter, not at her expense but instead at the cultural differences that existed between us.
The affects of this experience were two fold. First, I was really able to see how laughter is uncontrollable. It is simply just a bodily reaction that is triggered inside of us. Seeing Vena bust out in laughter, even though she really had no grasp on what was happening showed me that sometimes we can simply just laugh because others our laughing. Second, just as with the last experience, the situation created a large bonding effect between us. Now YOLO is kind of like our inside joke. This fit of unrestrained laughter was able to give us a bond that could only be created by the universal language of laughter.
Incident of Unrestrained Laughter #1
During snow days this February, my friends and I had a brilliant idea. Being the idiots we are, we strapped on some rollerblades, conveniently forgot that none of us knew how to rollerblade, and set out on a hallway adventure. What seemed at first to be some casual wipeouts, set up a scene for an incident that would cause me to laugh harder than I have in a long time.
We started by just rollerblading up and down the hall with a casual spill, but this became too trivial for us within a few minutes. I'm not sure who, but one of us got the brilliant idea that the person on the roller blades would go to one end of the hallway, while another one of us would run behind them to build up momentum and give them a little push to let them fly. On the first few tries, we were all extremely hesitant, scared to get anyone moving too fast. Being the daredevil that I am, I insisted that everyone was being wimpy and commandeered the rollerblades for my personal use. Just as I was tying on the second blade, my third roommate, an ex-soccer player, returned home. I insisted that Kylee would be the person that would push me.
Let me preface this. Kylee is the only person that I know who lives life with as much disregard of fear as I do. Because she hadn't seen any of the other runs, she had no idea how much momentum to give me. Just because she is someone who gives her all in everything she does (in addition to her extremely muscular legs and long stride), she started booking it down the hallway. I got halfway down the hall way and I was flying. Before I knew it, she had let go. There was a moment of perfect clarity, where I was staring at my other two roommates, with cameras in hand, at the other end of the hall and felt like I was on top of the world.
Lets just say that feeling did not last for long. In a split second, all 5'11 inches of me, dressed in baggy sweatpants and a shirt with my roommate's grandma, came crashing down. My butt skid across the floor for a solid few inches and my knee banged into the wall with a lot of force. The moment I wiped out every single one of us fell into a fit of unrestrained laughter. There were tears streaming down our face and no one could even catch their breath. The reason it was funny, is that you knew that it was coming. There is this tremendous tension that is built up while I fly down the hallway, and a monstrous release when the inevitable happened, epic failure.
This incident had a tremendous affect on all of us. I can't even count how many times we have watched that video. I think this situation of unrestrained laughter created an extreme effect of solidarity between us. It is a moment in our lives that we will never forget, because it really was that funny. This was a specific moment in my life where I really was able to see the bonding effect of laughter and its ability to bring people together.
We started by just rollerblading up and down the hall with a casual spill, but this became too trivial for us within a few minutes. I'm not sure who, but one of us got the brilliant idea that the person on the roller blades would go to one end of the hallway, while another one of us would run behind them to build up momentum and give them a little push to let them fly. On the first few tries, we were all extremely hesitant, scared to get anyone moving too fast. Being the daredevil that I am, I insisted that everyone was being wimpy and commandeered the rollerblades for my personal use. Just as I was tying on the second blade, my third roommate, an ex-soccer player, returned home. I insisted that Kylee would be the person that would push me.
Let me preface this. Kylee is the only person that I know who lives life with as much disregard of fear as I do. Because she hadn't seen any of the other runs, she had no idea how much momentum to give me. Just because she is someone who gives her all in everything she does (in addition to her extremely muscular legs and long stride), she started booking it down the hallway. I got halfway down the hall way and I was flying. Before I knew it, she had let go. There was a moment of perfect clarity, where I was staring at my other two roommates, with cameras in hand, at the other end of the hall and felt like I was on top of the world.
Lets just say that feeling did not last for long. In a split second, all 5'11 inches of me, dressed in baggy sweatpants and a shirt with my roommate's grandma, came crashing down. My butt skid across the floor for a solid few inches and my knee banged into the wall with a lot of force. The moment I wiped out every single one of us fell into a fit of unrestrained laughter. There were tears streaming down our face and no one could even catch their breath. The reason it was funny, is that you knew that it was coming. There is this tremendous tension that is built up while I fly down the hallway, and a monstrous release when the inevitable happened, epic failure.
This incident had a tremendous affect on all of us. I can't even count how many times we have watched that video. I think this situation of unrestrained laughter created an extreme effect of solidarity between us. It is a moment in our lives that we will never forget, because it really was that funny. This was a specific moment in my life where I really was able to see the bonding effect of laughter and its ability to bring people together.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)